Here at Grateful Lane, we care about your happiness. While wine helps us all to relax, enjoy and connect easier, we all know that sustaining a healthy long-term relationship takes more. If you’re feeling like your relationship needs a little boost. Please read on.
Shared with love,
Remember a time when you couldn’t keep your hands off your partner?
One look, one touch, and you’d spend all day glowing in what felt like an all-consuming passion. You seemed to have endless energy and time for romance and lovemaking.
But, now that you’ve been together a while, and it feels like it’s changed. You love your partner, but maybe you’re just not “feeling it” anymore. If a nap (watching tv, being on Facebook, chatting with friends) sounds better than making love to you…
Here are 6 strategies to immediately apply to get the enthusiasm and closeness back pronto:
- Show your love in small ways.
Try this. Leave a love note on their pillow, stuck in their purse, briefcase or book they’re reading. Bring home a special treat you know your partner will love. Text, call or email them to say, “I’m thinking of you.” Write a list of all the reasons you love and appreciate them and whisper each one into their ear. Sometimes it’s the little gestures that make the biggest impression.
- Shake things up.
Breakthrough the ho-hum “I’m so bored” barrier that often plagues long-term relationships by learning something or doing something new together. Sharing activities of mutual interest is the glue that makes a relationship work and creates happiness. Go ice skating, take a salsa lesson, rent rollerblades, go for a full moon hike, rent a bicycle built for two, or celebrate a milestone other than your anniversary—like the anniversary of the first day you made love. It’s amazing what getting out of your normal routine and pushing your comfort boundaries will do for your love life.
- Be generous with praise. Be grateful.
What you focus your attention on, grows. Say “thank you,” offer a hug, pay your partner a compliment—anything that communicates you acknowledge and value how important they are to you and that you appreciate them.
Accentuating the positive and what is good in each other and in the relationship is a win/win for both partners. When you feel grateful for the good things in your life, you attract more of those good things to you.
- Touch and embrace often.
So many couples hold back kissing, touching, or holding each other until they have time or the desire to have sex. Researchers have found that holding hands relieves stress and affectionate touch boosts the body’s feel-good hormones. Let’s face it, touch is a fundamental part of our existence since we were born. So even a simple hug each day is actually good for your health and wellbeing. Hold hands. Stroke your partner’s arm or shoulder softly as you walk by. Give your partner a 20-second kiss when they walk in the door or are leaving for the day. Affection is the way to make love all day outside of the bedroom.
- Create intimate time.
Nothing says “I love you” like spending quality alone time together. Before rushing out the door in a frenzy in the morning, get up one hour earlier and share breakfast in bed, read an inspirational passage aloud, or go for an early morning walk. At the end of the day, instead of plunking down in front of the TV or computer, open a bottle of Tantrika, give each other a massage, take a shower together or do something novel like reading erotic literature out loud or telling each other steamy stories before turning in for the night. Carving out time during the day to be intimate and present to your partner strengthens your bond and builds the desire for affection, setting the stage for great lovemaking.
- Communicate clearly, honestly, fearlessly and frequently.
Talking to each other is one of the main tools we use to connect with each other. When we extend ourselves and let our partner know who we are, what we need and how we feel, we open the doors to greater intimacy. Take at least 30 minutes and put out your ‘do not disturb sign’ to the world. Turn off the phone, close the door, and tell the kids, unless there is an emergency, not to even think about knocking. Then, sit down and take a few minutes to breathe and settle in with each other. Ask your partner what he or she needs from you. Take turns. Openness and honesty are essential. The goal is to show more and see more of each other, rather than defend the status quo. It takes time and patience but is worth it.
You get out of your relationship what you invest into it. When you make daily love “deposits” of attention, appreciation, and affection into your relationship account, you’ll be able to maintain a healthy and sexy love “balance”. By following these six simple strategies and making love a priority in your life, everything else in your life will feel a whole lot sweeter.
Grateful Lane Vineyards